How to Plan a Tinghun Ceremony: A Checklist for Both Families

Most tinghun ceremonies feel seamless on the day because someone put in weeks of careful work before it. That work falls on both families, and knowing who handles what, and when, prevents the kind of last-minute confusion that leaves everyone tense before the ceremony even begins.

This checklist covers both sides. Work through it together where you can, and separately where responsibilities are clearly divided.

Before Anything Else: Align on the Basics

Before either family starts making calls or reserving dates, both sides need to agree on a few things.

Decide the scale. A tinghun can be an intimate gathering of immediate family or a larger affair with extended relatives and close friends. The decision shapes every other choice, from venue to food budget to the number of gifts prepared.

Agree on the date together. In Filipino-Chinese tradition, the date carries weight. Families who observe this carefully consult a Chinese almanac or a trusted elder to confirm the date is auspicious. If this matters to either family, sort it out before booking anything. For a deeper look at how this works, read how to choose an auspicious date for your tinghun in the Filipino-Chinese tradition.

Establish who takes the lead on what. The groom's family traditionally hosts and organizes the gifts. The bride's family prepares to receive. But in practice, both families coordinate on venue, timing, and guest list. Decide early who the main point of contact is on each side.

The Groom's Family Checklist

Eight to twelve weeks out:

• Confirm the date with both families and check it against the almanac if applicable
• Set the gift budget and begin sourcing the traditional items: gold jewelry, clothing, food items, and fruit baskets
• Start shopping for gold jewelry with enough time to customize or resize pieces if needed. Read why gold jewelry is central to the tinghun tradition and how to choose wisely before you walk into any store
• Begin venue research if the ceremony will not be held at the family home

Four to six weeks out:

• Finalize the complete gift set and confirm every item is accounted for
• Book the venue or confirm the home setup plan
• Finalize the guest list on your side and share it with the bride's family
• Confirm the menu if you are hosting the meal, whether at home or at a restaurant
• Arrange for the gifts to be packed and presented properly. Red and gold packaging is standard for most items

One to two weeks out:

• Confirm headcount with the venue or caterer
• Prepare the gift boxes and trays for presentation
• Brief the immediate family on the ceremony sequence so no one is caught off guard
• Confirm arrival time and dress code with your guests

The day before:

• Collect all gifts and check every item against your list
• Prepare the red envelopes if cash gifts are included
• Confirm logistics: transportation, parking, and who carries the gifts into the venue

The Bride's Family Checklist

Eight to twelve weeks out:

• Confirm the date and communicate any scheduling constraints to the groom's family early
• Discuss the guest list internally and agree on who will attend
• Decide whether the ceremony will be held at your home or at an external venue
• If hosting at home, plan the space: seating, table arrangement, and how you will receive the gifts formally

Four to six weeks out:

• Finalize your guest list and share the final count with the groom's family
• Plan what you will serve or confirm the restaurant booking if the meal is on your side
• Brief your family on how the ceremony proceeds and what their roles are
• Prepare any return gifts you plan to offer. Many families on the bride's side prepare a modest set of gifts to present to the groom's family as a gesture of welcome

One to two weeks out:

• Confirm all guests have the correct date, time, and location
• Prepare the receiving area if the ceremony is at your home
• Remind family members of the dress code

The day before:

• Set up the receiving space if hosting at home
• Confirm catering or cooking arrangements
• Brief the bride on the sequence of events so she feels prepared, not surprised

What Both Families Handle Together

The guest list. Both families contribute names, and both need to agree on the final count before any invitations go out. Keep the list tight if the scale you agreed on is intimate. A tinghun that grows without a plan becomes harder to manage and more expensive than either family budgeted for. For guidance on managing this, read who should be invited to the tinghun and how to handle the guest list.

The ceremony sequence. Both families should know the order of events before the day. The groom's family arrives, presents the gifts formally, the families exchange conversation and blessings, the ring is placed on the bride's finger, and the meal follows. Surprises on the day create awkwardness. Preparation prevents it. For a full walkthrough, read a step-by-step guide to what happens during a tinghun ceremony.

The budget. Both families carry financial responsibilities, and being clear about who covers what avoids tension later. The groom's family traditionally shoulders the cost of the gifts and often the meal. But venue costs, return gifts, and additional expenses need to be discussed openly. Work through how to set a realistic tinghun budget that works for both families before you commit to any bookings.

Communication between families. Designate one person on each side to handle coordination. Too many voices in a group chat leads to conflicting information. One contact per family keeps things clean.

Getting Help When You Need It

Coordinating a tinghun across two families, with gifts, food, venue, and a guest list all moving at the same time, is more work than it looks. Many families bring in a wedding coordinator who has handled Filipino-Chinese ceremonies before. A good coordinator knows which details matter most, which conversations to have before the day, and how to keep both families on the same page without stepping on anyone's toes.

If you are looking for someone experienced with tinghun ceremonies, browse the wedding planners and coordinators in our supplier directory to find professionals who can guide both families through the process.

For a complete understanding of the tinghun from its cultural roots to its modern practice, the complete guide to the tinghun covers everything in one place.