How to Choose Wedding Ninongs and Ninangs: Ask Yourself These 3 Important Questions

Choosing your wedding sponsors is a meaningful and traditional part of planning a Filipino wedding. Sponsors are not just names on your wedding program—they serve as mentors, role models, and extended family who support your marriage, both on your big day and throughout your life together. But how do you select the right people for these significant roles? To make this decision easier, consider these three essential questions before you invite someone to be your Ninong (godfather) or Ninang (godmother).

Understanding the Role of Filipino Wedding Sponsors

Before diving deeper, it’s helpful to understand the unique significance of wedding sponsors in Filipino tradition. In the Philippines, sponsors—also known as “Ninong” (godfather) and “Ninang” (godmother)—aren’t just ceremonial figures. Their participation represents the broader community’s support for the couple and their union. Traditionally, sponsors are seen as second parents, providing guidance, encouragement, and even practical assistance throughout a couple’s married life.

There are two types of sponsors:

• Principal Sponsors: The main godparents, often mature adults, married couples, or family friends who serve as long-term mentors.
• Secondary Sponsors: Typically younger relatives or friends who perform specific ceremonial tasks (lighting candles, veiling, or cord ceremonies).

For most Filipino couples, choosing principal sponsors is one of the most personal and meaningful decisions in the wedding planning process.

1. Do They Embody the Values You Admire?

Why This Matters

The character and example set by your sponsors can deeply influence your married life. Traditionally, the selection is based on mutual respect and admiration—these are people you would be proud to emulate.

Practical Tips for Choosing Value-Driven Sponsors

• List the Values Most Important to You: Consider qualities like loyalty, humility, compassion, faith, generosity, or perseverance. Discuss these with your partner and identify people in your life who genuinely reflect them.
• Observe Their Relationships: How do your prospective sponsors interact with their spouses, families, and community? Long-lasting, happy marriages aren’t always perfect, but they’re grounded in respect and commitment.
• Seek Diverse Perspectives: It’s valuable to have sponsors from different backgrounds—older family friends, business mentors, or spiritual leaders. They bring varied insights and wisdom to your journey.

2. Are They Willing and Able to Take an Active Role?

The Importance of Involvement

A sponsor’s guidance is most effective when there’s genuine engagement. Choose individuals who are approachable, communicative, and enthusiastic about being part of your wedding and your married life.

How to Approach Potential Sponsors

• Make a Personal Request: Rather than sending a formal invitation first, have a heartfelt conversation. Express why you’ve chosen them and share the significance of the role in your life.
• Be Clear About Expectations: Some may be unfamiliar with the responsibilities of being a Ninong or Ninang. Let them know if you’d like them to offer advice, check in regularly, or be present for major milestones beyond the wedding.
• Be Considerate of Their Circumstances: Elderly family friends or sponsors living abroad might feel honored, but unable to attend. In such cases, consider hybrid options, such as virtual participation or assigning them roles they can fulfill from afar.

3. Do They Respect Your Relationship and Support Your Union?

Fostering Positive, Supportive Connections

Marriages thrive when surrounded by people who genuinely want the best for you as a couple. Sponsors can become your confidantes, cheerleaders, and peacemakers when needed.

How to Gauge Their Support

• Reflect on Past Interactions: Have they encouraged your relationship in the past? Are they accepting of your partner and both families coming together?
• Consider Family Dynamics: In Filipino culture, family opinions hold significant weight. It’s important to choose sponsors who will promote harmony, not rivalry or division.
• Value Open-Mindedness: If your relationship has crossed boundaries (e.g., interfaith or intercultural marriage), ensure your sponsors respect your choices and are open to learning about new traditions.

Extra Tips for Navigating Tradition and Modern Life

Balancing Tradition with Personal Preference

While tradition is important, your sponsor list doesn’t have to be dictated solely by family expectations. Discuss your choices openly with parents, especially if they have strong opinions. Often, families appreciate being heard and will support your thoughtful decisions.

Blending Old and New

Modern Filipino weddings sometimes include close friends or mentors as sponsors, not just elders. What matters most is that these individuals are invested in your happiness.

How Many Sponsors Should You Have?

Filipino weddings can have anywhere from a handful to a dozen (or more!) principal sponsors. Remember, quality over quantity is key—choose those who are meaningful to you, not just for appearances.

Sample Script for Inviting a Sponsor

If you’re unsure how to invite someone to be a sponsor, here’s a simple, heartfelt way to ask:

“Tito/Tita [Name], we deeply admire you and [spouse’s name] for your kindness and the beautiful example you set in your marriage. [Partner’s name] and I would be truly honored if you could be our Ninong/Ninang at our wedding. Your guidance and support would mean the world to us as we begin our life together.”

Final Thoughts

Choosing Filipino wedding sponsors is a process that blends tradition, gratitude, and intentionality. As you reflect on these three guiding questions, remember that the right sponsors will enrich your journey—not just by standing beside you on your wedding day, but by continuing to nurture your love and growth as a couple.

Celebrate this special tradition, and take pride in building a circle of wisdom, love, and support that will last long after the wedding bells have faded.